Why Online Dating Does Not Work For Everyone (And How to Better your Odds at Finding Someone for Yourself) ?
The internet is a funny place. This whole network where we are connected to practically everyone on earth claims to find us the right romantic matches too. Smartphones and hectic schedules have alleviated the stigma associated with dating people online. According to a survey conducted 2015, only 23% American adults believed that online dating is for the desperate and 59% survey takers believed that online dating is a good way to socialize and meet new people, At least, dating apps have led us to believe in swiping. But what if you have been swiping left since eternities and the fact that dating apps are not working for you is a major reason behind you feeling low?
Often, it can affect your self-esteem and confidence levels. Why would it not? After all, you are putting in more than the required amount of efforts. Showing up at friend’s parties alone is not okay anymore. Particularly, when everyone in your social circle has someone to introduce you to. However, it has little to do with you and more with the medium you are using to interact with the opposite sex. To dissect the problem, let’s dive a little deeper. After all, the devil always delves in minute details.
Reasons the dating apps are not working for you
Skimming through profiles dedicatedly for a couple of hours everyday is not the solution to not finding people online. Believe it or not, there are better explanations to why you haven’t found your person online. Here are three most popular explanations for the same.
The imbalanced ratio of women versus men users
A complain that mostly men have are that there are no women out there. Men find it particularly difficult to find women. And why would they not? Dating apps have comparatively higher number of men than women. Thus, if you cannot put your most confident (and best) foot forward, you will get lost amidst the madness.
The matching algorithms
Approximately one third of the dating app users have never landed a date with their online matches. The matching algorithms take inputs from the users on various parameters. This goes beyond age, geographical location and sexual orientation. From the same taste in music, to books, movies or beyond, that’s the maximum most of them have gone so far. However, to truly connect with a like-minded individual, you need more than these superficial parameters. Often, the bias integrated in the machine learning or deep learning models utilised to improve the performance of the users makes it difficult to find people you’d like to date for you.
Your Approach may not be correct
Remember when we spoke about putting your best foot forward? If you are not doing that, your matches will lose interest and that’s the end of the story.
Solutions to Escape the Problem:
You have ached and suffered enough. Now that the pain points have been identified, let’s look at some pointers shared by online dating experts from DatingXP.
Find the right app
We live in a world where romantic relationships do not have a set definition anymore. Everyone has a different set of priorities and their situations define their needs that they are expecting to be met when they join the online platform. Whether it is long term friendship, companionship or just one-night stands, it is important that you are not wasting anyone else’s (or your) time. Therefore, when you create a profile on a dating app, you need to take it seriously and have clarity about what is it that you are expecting at the end of the day. Research about the app’s reputation and proceed in choosing the platform accordingly.
Improve your Profile
If you’re serious about finding someone online, your profile should reflect that. I do not mean that you mustn’t hire online dating consultants or someone who’d do the swiping, texting or setting up your profile for you. Some people find that as a viable alternative. Nevertheless, to do so requires funds and finding skilled personnel. If you fall in the latter category, here are a few things that might help:
Let your pictures scream louder about yourself than your profile description. If you’re outdoorsy and love the beach, post pictures from a fun day at the beach. If you love playing pool, include a few pictures from your fun weekend out with your friends. If you love reading, choose an aesthetically pleasing picture of yourself reading.
Choose your pictures wisely. No one wants to see the semi-nude pictures at the locker room after you’ve hit the gym. Or pixelated selfies from a wild party. A couple of appropriate pictures where you’re well-dressed works just as well.
Choose a generic zip code instead of a specific one. This will increase your chances to be seen and your prospective matches wouldn’t be worried that you live way across on the other side of the town.
For dating profiles that have a slightly longer format, maintain the proportion of information about you and the partner that you are looking for. 70-30 rule is the best fit in the situation.
Do not use generic or lame conversation starters from the internet. Being pleasant and compassionate will allow you to be gracious in the toughest of situations.
Consider not lying on your profile
The truth is it is easy to lie on your dating profile. Height and weight are most often the numbers that are inaccurate on dating profiles. Always remember that lying is never a permanent solution. Let’s assume that you take a couple of pounds off your actual weight and you’re working to get there, you’d still be lying. That is never a healthy start to a relationship.
To ace the online dating game, you need to keep a couple of pointers in mind. But most of all, clarity is of utmost importance to ensure that you are respecting everyone’s time.
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